So you Girls think you're skiers?

This is a forward I got today. It sounds like a good training regime for next year's season. It'll get us used to the variable Alberta weather we so wilingly choose to ski in and the ever inflating cost of a ski ticket. Enjoy!


The ski season is finally here. This list of exercises will help you get ready...
- Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for
half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
- Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
- Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head
before you go to bed each night.
- If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the
lenses.
- Throw away a hundred dollar bill - RIGHT NOW!
- Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski
boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you
are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
- Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed
ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
- Buy a new pair of gloves and IMMEDIATELY THROW ONE AWAY!
- Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into
you at high speed.
- Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure
you are in the longest line.
- Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket, get on a motorcycle
and ride fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
- Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a
snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
- Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast
your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip onto
your clothes.
- Slam your thumb in a car door and don't bother to go see a doctor.
* Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until you're ready
for the real thing!